Gone are those puerile days when musings weren’t many and ease overflowed. When I enjoyed the petrichor, when a new era of hopes defined aurora and when I would nonchalantly bombinate tunes! Ethereal innocence ruled my veins that time. The blessedness of those days is unbelievably ineffable. This metanoia wasn’t pleasure. Parents assuaged solitude and friendships were like some iridescent fluid. That clamant world was peaceful. Now, silence dominates my river of musings, torpid enough to walk out of my life. Concinnity of existence achromatized away. Repenting with the aggression of continuing the voyage of moving forth.
Major missing! I miss my innocence. I miss that minute head of mine when Utopia was where I resided. Years taught me how anfractuous the Earth is. Ignorance eroded- greeting knowledge, but it detached me from the Wonderla in which I resided. I was in Kalopsia. Experience teaches, those books were not teachers. Diligence meant worthy to others not the abstract world. How easily childhood faded like chads into thin air! Despair, that I never knew the fairyland would be impermanent. The cyanic sky remained the same, then why did my world prefer to undergo mutation? How peacefully my perspective of life changed! When I was incapable to digest the worth of an ice-cream or a chocolate, I wasn’t misinterpreted as I am now. Today fun means gibberish. Drollery was addictive, now hatred is addictive. The impermanence of the day was cryptic. Hearts weren’t judged because they were pure. Now solitude is my companion. Meeting someone new ingrains a sense of fear, because I am burdened by adrontis.
Unrivalled was life when I was unaware. I cannot return to my childhood- where matter and anti-matter meant chocolates and talking popycock was termed cute. We tend to personalize abstract emotions at that flimsy age. This propensity filters like komorebi within us, but evanesces as dusk sets in our life. Reminiscing those days is what I have been awarded with. Every birthday of mine makes me see the vast ocean which lies between the previous one. Our life has been programed in such a ridiculous way. I stay discombobulated at times thinking how rapidly and swiftly childhood was snatched by some invisible power. First we are made to see the enhanced version of life and later we taste the sour one. I was under the spell of some witch, who made life simpler than it was. Whatever be it, I can revert to my memories, but not to those days. I heavily bear the loss of this precious phase of life.
(Hiraeth-homesickness for the home you cannot return to)